Port Angeles We get ready for a long and important chapter, Bella’s girls from Phoenix are missing in the book but she misses estrogen, nightmare A/V guy makes an appearance, Louis L’Amour strikes again, Adam continues his quest to keep people alive in the desert. Edward’s furious voice causes a spill in aisle 4, Adam is late for a class, we play a terrible game called “what Leslie would let Keanu spit into her mouth” and cross a line, another trope comes out, we break up for

Legends of the Slapping Beaver Adam takes his sfx game to the next level, but not in a good way, we go play by play at the threesome Waylon is imagining before he gets murdered, Adam uses his sound superpowers to learn us about ADR, and we find a weird transition that might be a picture that Catherine Hardwick may have had developed at Walgreens and scanned in. Leslie is stuck in an oxbow, there is a lot of talk going about the history of Google’s logo and web browsers, Adam

Nightmares We don’t spoil Chinatown, no one is reading the book along with us and no one wants to be a guest on this show, dial up technology is really slow, Adam gets really excited about getting a point. Clumsy girls probably shouldn’t go for walks alone in the woods, Leslie’s best hair days were in Las Vegas, Adam goes a little Philly by saying “two tree four,” potato chips are way better in the desert, bugs in our dill, We have different philosophies on saying “I love you

The “Crowded” Beach Lexi Smelch takes over hosting for this episode, Adam better get his panties buckled, Adam fails to make a case about the beach being “crowded,” Let's be clear: Adam thinks two people surfing makes a crowded beach. Adam thinks Jacob is the best actor in the movie so far, we think about forming a band, “pale faces” is a terrible descriptor, we have no idea what this aquatic creature is that boy chases girl with twilight beach scene, and we finally meet the

Scary Stories Adam is in the market for some new sound effects, we briefly consider making the podcast Edie-friendly, Adam does not like Leslie’s relationship with Bun-Bun, Suburbans are BFCs, Lauren’s nastiness begins. Jacob joins the story in the book and is only fifteen, Adam’s Michael Keaton Batman imitation is fabulous, Jacob tries to impress Bella, Bella is like a testicle, we get into a genital punching stand-off, Leslie can’t pronounce Quileutes, Jacob drops some info

The Apple of Temptation Adam grosses everyone out, there’s a weird scene in this movie that has no purpose, we swoon over the deliciousness of Vermont water. You only have nine years to get stuff done, targeted ads are scary and useful, we go a little too deep into vampire poop, public schools do not have un-monitored salad bars, we analyze the purpose of Edward’s apple kick. Adam's Notes: I didn’t pull it off with cum noises, ave maria is a nice centering song, how do you me

Blood Type We start off talking waaay too much about Florida, Leslie really screws up her Jesus impression, Adam is no match for Keanu. Leslie discovers a new way to make Adam listen better, we explore why a dangerous man is sexy, the movie left out an entire character, mean girl tropes are bad, and Bella plays matchmaker. Adam's Notes: Pine-ellis county, thousand yard stares, the jesus costume, fishy’s mouth is sad, i want keanu to kidnap me, edward is not superman, cynical

Footloose We reveal the truth about Sadie Hawkins and it’s worse than we thought, the movie really starts to diverge from the book, Mike Newton is full of fiber, we learn more about Adam’s Footloose high school and his sad senior banquet. Sometimes non-regional dialects are in the eye of the beholder, Adam is giving free advertising, Adam protected Leslie from the worst part of Fishey’s death, Leslie gets a new biological noise, we give Keanu a Sophie’s choice, Edward summons